We didn’t have a wedding and we said no vows. We just made it legal. My father “died” when I was three and my stepfather skipped out while my mom was having my youngest sister. My wife’s mother abandoned her when she was young. We both must have wanted what we didn’t have but there was no need to say it. In the culture she was raised in men often have minor wives. Not in secret. So more patriarchal than in our society.
She cooks more often than me because she’s better at it but we mostly eat Thai food which has a great deal of cutting/chopping that I do more often than not so you could say the we cook. I do more on my own cooking than you might think. I clean the floors because it’s easier for me to move furniture than her. Some of the task division is traditional in that we are better suited for different tasks. I do much more of the grocery shopping than her though we are both equally capable of that.
You could rightfully say that in many ways our roles are traditional, but as I mentioned above, quite a bit of that has to do with abilities. It could be that had a role in the creation of traditional roles.
We accept each other as we are, warts and all and we are as imperfect as anyone. Is our monogamy cultural? Might be, it seems right for us wherever it came from.
Anyone can read what I’ve written here so there’ no reason for you to not include it. It is said that adventures are the result of poor planning. My life has certainly been an adventure. Although I call myself a Buddhist of sorts in many ways I could be considered a Taoist since I go with the flow. I’m even an ordained Dudeist Priest. I made my living analyzing things but quite honestly I’ve put little analysis into myself as introspection. Things that I just did often turned out better than the things I agonized over anyway.