Thanks for your insight. I guess the question is, what can I do with that?
It’s an imperfect world and I am imperfect. I’ve made many mistakes, some of which leave me with great regret. Would it be useful for me to torture myself and live as a man of constant sorrow? As time goes on I am less inclined to ask if something is true and more inclined to ask if it is useful. I am not inclined to hold a grudge and I am very forgiving. My emotions are my mind objects and may have nothing to do with reality of others.
Your list of questions are good ones. What do I fear? That my mistakes will bring grief to others. It goes back to being a 19 year old NCO in a combat zone where my mistakes could get others killed. With as much luck as virtue I passed that test but never left that fear behind. Is it because I deeply care about others or aversion to guilt? Do I fear the answer?
My dislike of identity politics (all y’all X people) is precisely because it is drawing a large circle where the conflict is the wrong conflict because it’s about somebody else.
How often are we really heard? People hear one specific and assign a huge pile of their own stuff on it as if they are reading minds other than their own. It’s what people do. Is it useful for me to get upset about human nature? I’ve seen you complain about that with people putting their words in your mouth. Just today someone claimed to know all about me from a few words. Frustrating (an emotion we share).
All of that is insight into my doubts about the usefulness of emotion, even though I can see the logic of your view. Are my doubts emotion based? I agree with you that we (not just men) are less logical than we wish to believe. Perhaps I do examine all that emotion, cautiously in non-toxic doses. But I can’t turn back the clock to fix my own stuff and I cannot stop other people from projecting their own stuff onto me.