People of color are not a big happy family. Neither are white people. Somehow that is news to some people.
Your mother was the product of her zeitgeist as you are of yours. Your children will judge you too, from the standards of theirs.
My brown Southeast Asia wife pushed a plow behind water buffalo in a rice paddy and later got a job in a dormitory factory and got her first pair of shoes. Our children did not spend their childhood in that environment. Would you expect them to have the same world views?
We can all try to improve. From where to where changes with every generation and circumstance.
Small children are under the influence of the previous generation. Do you know what your mother’s influenced were? Did you spend much time talking with your maternal grandparents?
I’m not giving a pass to racism but understanding helps us be less judgmental.