Interesting question. I was going to write that in fifty years we never talked about the type of relationship we would have but I just remembered we had one such agreement; we are not required to be friends with each other’s friend’s significant others. We have our own friends based upon common interests. We are of course cordial and sometimes those friendships happened, but not always.
I am curious about what you mean by “actively co-creating our relationship”? Our relationship is a thing that just is.