"How can rape not be the norm..."
I have sisters, daughters, granddaughters and female friend so the idea of it being a norm for women is certainly something I and every man I know would like to see change.
Rapists are not evenly distributed across the male population. They seem to be repeat/serial offenders which means that their crime has a wide distribution. They are not the norm. If there was a wide rape culture I think that rapists would be represented more widely.
Basic set theory: Dave is a man, but men are not all Daves. You know that I have a thing about set theory and analog ratios. That does not indicate that I disagreed with your article.
It is a sad thing that paraphrasing a line from the old rock opera "Jesus Christ Superstar" comes to mind - We both have norms, are mine the same as yours? The F & S thing you wrote about may well have the influence you mention and I don't argue against it. But then instead of "unfuck myself" I'm more likely to say "get my head out of my ass" which isn't a sexual thing in my world. Hopefully that's doing my part a little bit.