Every woman who is a military veteran that I’ve known has told me that they were raped while in the military. I have no reason to doubt that since the military is ate up with male toxicity, especially the branch I served in. It came as news to me since I didn’t serve with women, but now men and women in the same fields while deployed has become common so opportunity increased. I suspect it is under reported there because of that environment. You can make all the rules and laws you want but changing attitudes is the only real cure.
You are writing about the world outside of the military and I have a theory about why it may be under reported here too. I have reason to believe that my oldest daughter may have raped as a teen. I can’t ask her now as she is deceased. If it did happen, others may have known and withheld it from me. Why? Because they love me and at that point in my life I would have gone vigilante and would still be in prison.
I wonder how many men are in the dark about the women in their lives being raped because it has been withheld from them. The only men that I know personally who expressed doubts about the me too thing expressed doubts about the timing (political). Sadly, in our current highly polarized political world politics seems to overcome all else.
Since it is not a subject I am normally a part of I haven’t personally witnessed the denial that you write about, but my experience is too limited to make me a denier. I commented on another of your articles asking for clarification. Your reply may have prevented pushback from the men you were writing about (I didn’t see any). I hope that you didn’t think I was naysaying or denying. I often ask for clarification because I am often misunderstood and appreciate being asked for clarification. Expressing a thought on something shouldn’t give people cause to assume things on a broad spectrum, but it does. I recently was called a bigot and blocked (a first for me) by someone who had no interest in clarification. Too bad but it is pointless to converse with people like that.
I hope I didn’t just bury my own thought about a reason that I think may be part of men’s ignorance on the subject (withheld from them). Certainly not the only reason, but because it is personal it is a thought that rose in my mind.